Looking Forward

I recently celebrated my 27th birthday. I thought I was going to be freaked out a little more by the fact that I am now 27. Maybe it's because I've been in my 20s for awhile now so I’m getting used to it. Even though I have now entered my late 20s; no matter how much I argue that 27 is still mid 20s. Apparently it doesn't work this way:

20 - 21 Early 20s

22 - 27 Mid 20s

28 - 29 Late 20s

I have to admit, one of the hardest birthdays was probably my 25^th. I was on the other side of the world, away from most of my friends and family and nowhere near where I thought I’d be in life at 25. It’s funny how we when we are in high school we imagine ourselves with a set career, committed relationship, our own home, a car, kids...etc all right when we graduate University. Goals aren’t always met, dreams change and we move on with our lives. Don’t misunderstand me, I am so happy I didn’t end up tied down doing something I hated or with someone that I would eventually divorce. I really should have listened to my 12 year old self and stuck with my teaching education path...because that's where I ended up.

Instead I listened to my Guidance Counselor - why don't you try Business?

It's really true what they say about aging. You become more comfortable with who you are and happier as a person. I am finally starting a stable career and I feel more at ease with who I am. When I think back to my university days...I was beyond shy. I was in a program I didn’t really love, but came fairly easy to me. I went to class, barely talked to anyone and went home to my roommates and played euchre. (Yes, euchre. We had an amazing scoreboard. Might have to get one for your new pad Lolo. Just a thought). My cousin Lolo so lovingly told me the other day I should've been 'macking' on all those business hotties. Well I missed that boat. But I would never have dreamed of doing that at 21. My face would've gone tomato red and I probably would've ran away. (I still turn that lovely shade sometimes though...can't really seem to get rid of it).

How you feel about yourself really does affect how other people look at you. We grow older yes, but we grow better with time (like a fine wine). At 33 you are your happiest and they say that 40 is the new 20, as celebs keeps getting better with age. Which is probably the argument for all the cougar love.

I'm a Big Kid Now

After countless part-time or "filler" jobs and contract jobs with an expiration date and two degrees, I am beyond happy to report I finally have a real job. The full time kind with benefits and everything! It only took me about 27 years. I'm very lucky in that the whole job really fell into my lap. It completely took me by surprise but I've always loved surprises. The whole process went something like this:

Former boss calls me on Family Day. "Are you currently working?"
Me: "Kind of."
FB: "Would you like to come in and chat about a position that has opened up?"
Me: "Sure! See you Wednesday."

A few days are between the phone call and the meeting. I really have no expectations leading up to this because to me a 'chat' is a very informal and indefinite thing.


Wednesday
FB: "This is basically the job description...you would be responsible for.... Would something like this interest you?"
Me: "Yes definitely. Especially with teaching not really being much of an option around here I would be interested in exploring other options."
FB: "Well you were the first person I thought of when this opened up. We're not even going to post it if you're interested."
Me: "I'm definitely interested."
FB: "Great. The salary is blah blah blah...benefits.... Do we have a deal?"
Me: (At this point my stomach is flip flopping and I just want to jump up and down). "Yes. Sounds great!"
FB: "Perfect! You just made my week!"
Me: "Best Wednesday ever!"

After that initial meeting I was so giddy that something had finally gone my way. It is so frustrating to apply to literally hundreds of jobs (some of which you are overqualified for) and not hear a lot back in return. I'm surprised I was able to walk out of that building without running around or dancing like a madwoman. I just finished my first week there and I really do love it. It's something stable in my life but it also is a job that I am able to put my expensive education to use. Who woulda thunk it?

As the self-proclaimed spokeswoman for the "Peter Pan Generation" of my small group of friends, 'growing up' into a functioning adult seemed unncessary. Career...It'll happen someday. Family of my own...I'm too young for that! But as it turns out, I'm not too young. Do I really want to live with my parents forever? No of course not. (I'm sure you can hear my mom yelping with excitement and high fiving my dad as she reads that). Not all 20 somethings are desperately avoiding the real world of course. There are those that are married, settled and basically have their shit together. I'm not exactly sure why our generation feels the need to hold on to our youth for so much longer. Possibly we're scared. Scared of making mistakes our parents have made. Unhappy or trapped in their jobs or even divorce. But, I am sure that it feels pretty good waking up every morning not wondering if I'll be able to pay my bills.

This full time job thing isn't so bad after all.

It's February, so it doesn't count

January is long gone and February is almost through. Which is why I've decided to take this time to share my goals for the year. These are not resolutions. In the past I have made grand proclamations or promises that I had no intentions of sticking to. Making plans and schemes I happen to be the queen of. Following through with these, not so much. The inner rebel inside of me doesn't want to be told what to do, even if it's from myself. Instead of setting resolutions I have no plans to follow through with, it's probably more realistic and productive to dedicate this year to things I've always wanted to do.

I have nothing against resolutions of course. I think they're a great way to start with self improvement. We all have things we need to work on. (This is probably why the gym in January is a mad house and the parking lot is full. But come February and March, the spots are back). I am constantly late. But I have no plans to change that. How would I go about this really? Who is going to be accountable for my tardiness? If we leave it to me...we're back where we started. I already admitted I'm the problem. I'm sorry family and friends but this may just be one thing you have to love and hate about me. Sometimes there's just to much emphasis put on things we need to change about ourselves. People will never be perfect. So why not try to enjoy your imperfections as they are and make the best with what you've got. So, my goal for 2012 is to cross things off my bucket list.

The bucket list. We all have one. Whether they're officially written down or not. I've been lucky to be able to cross off dreams I've had for a long time (and ones I didn't even realize I had) within the past two years or so. The two goals that I really want to cross off this year are to run a 5k race and learn to play the guitar. The race is a fairly new spot on my list but I can do it on a treadmill. I just need to learn to run outside. Who realized there was a difference? So hopefully by the summer I can enter in a couple races and cross that bad boy from my list. For the guitar playing, I have no idea how I'm going to go about doing that, but I'm excited about it! I love music and would love to be able to just whip out a guitar by a campfire and start a singalong. And I am positive my family is SUPER excited to hear my practice. I took piano lessons one year and still have Ode to Joy memorized. I'm pretty sure I have a little musical inclination.

So there you have it. My 2012 goals for the year. Simple? Yes. But hopefully by writing it and 'announcing' it I will be held accountable. And, if for some reason I don't get to these goals...the world is suppose to end in 2012 anyway right?

The L Word and other confessions

No I'm not coming out of the closet. I'm not a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that!) I'm referring to the other L word. Yes, love. The often sought after, talked about, song singing, poem writing emotion. With Valentine's Day just around the corner I thought it appropriate to acknowledge it.

A few weeks ago when chatting with some girlfriends the "first love" topic was brought up. I casually commented that I have never been in love. This comment resulted in shocked and appalled looks from my friends. I didn't think this was news to them but (gasp!) apparently it was. Truthfully I thought I might've been at one point in my life and even felt like saying it. As George Costanza so eloquently puts it, everyone else gets to say it...why can't I? Not wanting to have that large matzah ball hanging out there I didn't say anything. I'm glad I didn't though because obviously it wasn't love.

This post is not to make you pity or feel sorry for me though. Depsite not yet having romantic love in my life I am truly blessed to be constantly surrounded by friends and family that I adore and for some reason, love me back. That's what I will always remember Valentine's Day for. Those days when you beautifully decorated a kleenex box with glitter and glue to be filled with Ninja Turtle or Barbie cards signed by all your best friends.

I'm not much of a romantic so Valentine's Day will never be a day I get excited for or choose to celebrate. Except this year. I'm choosing to raise my glass and toast to you this V-Day.

I make a toast to not being in love and celebrating with some wonderful friends.

Cheers to terrible choices I have made in the past and no longer having to date them.

Here's to not having to fake real sentiment with candy and cards. Here's to spending my hard earned cash on myself this year.

I toast to getting hit on by sad and desperate strangers in a dimly lit bar. That's where I'll be this coming Tuesday.

Who needs love when there's vodka.

Now there's a romantic gesture. But seriously, Sir, what do you think you're doing with that spoon? Put the spoon down.

Super Bowl Sunday = not so super Monday

Chances are, you spent Sunday night sighting in front of your television watching the Super Bowl. If not, seriously, what were you doing? It may be the only football game I dedicate myself to watching all year but it's tradition. If only for the commercials and half time show.

If you did tune in, chances are Monday morning you found yourself doing some other Super Bowl traditions:

• Hugging the toilet. For one reason or another, the morning after Super Bowl, your body hates you. You spent the better part of the day shoving terrible things in your body. Cheese, grease, meat, wings, chips, dip, beer, vodka....I'm not sure what it is about this time of year that turns everyone into gluttonous whores but it's the same thing every year. I did my part and made some delicious dips for people to enjoy Sunday evening and hate Monday morning. If you're team won you probably celebrated with drinks or shots and if you're team lost you probably comforted the pain with drinks or shots.

• Which brings me to my next point...calling in sick. Apparently the Monday after Super Bowl is one of the most popular times for workers to call in sick. Be it a booze hangover or a food hangover, nobody feels great. Tsk tsk if you are one of these people. If you chose to stick it out and head into work nauseous good for you! Your employer thanks you I'm sure, even if it is your most unproductive day to date.

• You are on the run from a gambling bet gone wrong. If this is you. What are you doing reading? Pack up and go man!

Happy Tuesday!

Judging a book by it's cover

We've all heard the saying never to judge a book by it's cover. But we all do it. We're all guilty of forming our first opinions of someone based on how they're dressed, walks, looks or even speaks. These famous first impressions are so often off the mark.

Just think back to the story of Beauty and the Beast. The Prince judged that old lady and he paid for it. Tsk tsk. We all want to make a good first impression and we all have a loosely based idea of how we are perceived. Even if our view of ourselves doesn't quite match what others see.

I'm not sure what it is about me but I've had a lot of people admit their first impressions of me and how wrong they were. Maybe I have an identity crisis I'm unaware of or really am that mysterious. I'm always amused by those comments, even if they are sometimes way off base. So I thought I'd share some with you.

1. "You look like a girl that is into black guys."

I will always remember my friend Jommy saying this to me even though it's not the first time I've heard that. Maybe it's my ghetto booty or gangsta swag. (not likely). I am in no way offended or against this, but I have to say it's not true. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem dating anyone that I hit it off with. But, I don't actively seek it out. Living in a small town community I never really had the opportunity to even try. Our options are limited to Dutch, farmer or Dutch-farmer.

2. "You look like you could be a country western singer."

This one I have to admit is not way off base. I did grow up on a farm and live in the country. But I can't help thinking number 1 and 2 are conflicting impressions. However, I do not have big hair or sparkly outfits. Maybe it's all the denim or hats I wear.

To go with that, I have been told numerous times I have some sort of accent. My roommate in first year university told me I had an accent. Up until that point in my life I was blissfully unaware that I spoke with some sort of Canadian drawl. Now I notice it changes depending on who I'm with or where I am. I never make fun of those 'fake British' accents anymore. You can't help but pick up on the lingo of present company. I like to think of it as an empathetic accent. Ever since returning home from Taiwan 2 years ago, I've been told by my American friend MJ that it's thickened. So apparently since returning to the farm, the 'ehs' have increased and my 'hick accent' has picked up.

3. "You're just so innocent"

I'm not sure what it is about me that people think is so naive or innocent but it seems to be a popular opinion of me. I must have that doe-eyed look down pat.
If they only knew.

So I guess my point is that you never truly know a person until you take time to get to know them and hear what they have to say. Even if it is with an accent.

Dating for Dummies

Most people have an exit strategy when a date starts to go awry. I need to work on mine.

In my defense though, I had to drive an hour to a small town for a second date I had recently. So I was committed to it - no matter how strange or terrible.

This was my second date with "Chuck" and things started off fairly regular. We went out for dinner at a local restaurant. Had some beers. Nothing crazy.

But Chuck told me about his night before which consisted of drinking till 5 in the morning with his buddies. I have no problem with that. I often do the same thing. But, I could tell he didn't really feel all that great.

As we walked the couple blocks back to his house, a little surprise popped up. Chuck couldn't hold it in any longer. Chuck upchucked. Blew chunks. Lost his lunch. Chuck puked 4 times on the short walk home! Awesome.

Poor Chuck kept apologizing and I honestly felt bad for him. I knew he was embarassed. He's a shy guy in the first place and there's no way this helped him. This would've been my perfect chance for an exit.

"Obviously you're not feeling well. I should take off."

But I didn't say this.

So we went inside his house. Where I was greeted by his mom. His unsuspecting mother who had no idea a strange girl may be coming over. Did I mention this was our second date? So while Chuck slipped to the washroom, to brush his teeth I assume, I talked with his mom. Luckily, I'm great with parents. I'll chat them up all night and charm their pants off.

I'm not sure why I didn't go running in the other direction after this disaster. Maybe I'm forgiving to a fault. Maybe it was pity. Maybe I was curious what would happen next. We all have these stories. As a single girl you tend to rack up these types of stories and because of these you develop flags or signals. Don't ignore those.

From this experience I've come up with two very important dating etiquette points:

1. Even though one of my biggest pet peeves is when people cancel plans or bail out, if you are not feeling well, it's okay to cancel.

2. Warn your roommates (whoever they may be) if you are bringing over company.

Happy dating and try not to get puked on.