Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Unsolicited Comments

As a woman, I have been subject to unwanted leers, whistles and sexual remarks ever since I hit puberty. Maybe even before that. And also, as a woman I have been disgusted and scowled back at those committing them (while secretly strutting and holding my head a little higher thinking "Damn! I must be looking good today"). As a feminist I am officially offended of course, but every once in awhile we relish in those inappropriate comments when we've had a particularly rough day. I'm not saying you have any right at all to come up and slap my ass. That's assault brother.
And I will return the favour with a swift slap of your face. You slap an ass. I slap an ass.

Not only are we bombarded by catcalls but there are people out there who feel it necessary to unleash their "honesty" on you. I'm not sure if they think their comments are helpful or that they have some sort of right to spew their verbal diarrhea opinion of you. Let me tell you now. If you are one of those people. Please stop, stranger. No thank you.

Telling a woman she is wearing too much makeup. Not your job. Maybe she's enrolled in clown college. Mind your business.

Most recently one of the regular customers where I used to work (yay for me), felt it necessary to make an unsolicited comment. Let's call him Assface.

Assface: "I'm gonna say something, but I don't want you to get mad at me."
(Well this oughta be good.)
Me: Okaaaaaaay.
Assface: "Did you happen to get workout equipment for Christmas?"
(Not a good start buddy.)
Me: No
Assface: "I've noticed since you've worked here you've put on some weight."
Me: You should keep your opinions to yourself.

Shortly after this I had to step into the back because I was red with rage. Apparently I have anger issues.

Now, if I was younger I probably wouldn't have said anything or I would have instantly started crying. But as an older, wiser and much stronger person, I wouldn't and couldn't just let someone get away with saying that. I am proud to say I was not rude and I did not yell. I did make him feel bad and scolded him like a child. Everyone knows, you just DO NOT say those words to someone. Man, woman or child. Only your family is allowed to make you feel bad about yourself.

The truth is, he was right and I know it. I have put on a little winter weight. I usually do over the holidays. It's as much of a tradition in my life as decorating the tree or exchanging presents - but not nearly as beloved. What irks me the most however, is not that it's true. I will lose those extra pounds and I know it. What bothers me is that the opinion of someone who does not matter and a relative stranger to me can affect me so much.

I will never be a size zero. I've got hips and curves and I have finally come to terms with this. As a twenty something woman I feel like I am finally at a point in my life where I feel confident in my own skin and am much less shy than I used to be. However, no matter how good you're feeling that day, sadly it can quickly crumble by insensitive comments.

So my point is this. Never comment on the size of a woman's ass to her face. Or you will forever be Assface to that woman. And, in my opinion she has full right to smack you.


  1. Ugh, what a jerk! You should have slapped that Assface anyway!!

  2. Had he said that to me, I probably would have gone home to cry and eat an entire pizza.