My Grown up Christmas List

This year I'm spending Christmas at home in Canada. Last year in Taiwan, working on Christmas day, not being surrounded by family and friends or decorations of any kind was slightly depressing. So, as you can guess I have been giddy and excited about once again being part of the holiday madness. I assumed Christmas would change as I got older...but I was hoping for some of that child-like wonder and awe to introduce me back into the tradition. I guess at the pivotal age of 25, that is too much to ask for.

The Christmas Tree

Putting up and decorating the tree is by far one of my favourite things to do. Ever since I was little it was something we could do as a family. Christmas music would fill the air and our tree was trimmed with the most hideous ornaments, (made especially by yours truly and the brothers), and the tree came out looking like a rainbow had thrown up all over it. Super dad would lift us up to place the star/angel on top of the tree. Every year we switched it up so when it was your turn...you were on top of the world. Literally at that age. Perfect right?

This year, I decorated (our fake) Christmas tree alone. I brought it up from the basement. I wrestled with it trying to figure out how to put it together and get it to light. Younger brother did assist me but then quickly retired to play video games. So I hauled out the Christmas decorations, now matched only to silver and gold and decorated our perfect tree. I did have Christmas music playing in the background but younger brother squashed that as soon as it happened and Sportscentre filled the air instead. The angel was placed on top by younger brother, with no stool or chair or lift. He can reach it. (I would've needed a boost).

Extended Family Christmas

For the most part, celebrations on dad's side haven't changed too much. His side of the family is fond of tradition and not fond of change. Of course new people are thrown into the mix as our family grows. But we still eat too much food, try to beat grandpa at euchre (inevitably failing), and the same jokes are still muttered around the table ("more heavy gravy?"). I'm still forced to be the "santa" and hand out presents from the tree. At 25, it's just embarrassing. Thank goodness the hat wasn't there. But as the youngest person is 22, the wine flows quickly and the whiskey is poured (Golden Wedding anyone?). Grandma calls me an alcoholic and it's time to go home.

On my mom's side, there are no toddlers running around either and the glasses of wine are encouraged. Inappropriate jokes are made and good times are had by all. It's an interesting time when everyone is old enough to just enjoy each other's company without having to worry about small children.

Getting together with Friends

As a university student, coming home for Christmas was a time filled with haziness and beer soaked Christmas sweaters. This is something that has definitely changed. I am now 25, and most of my friends have "real" jobs, or significant others, or kids, I find myself going stir crazy trying to find people who have as much free time as me. I've never enjoyed drinking alone but I may have to change my opinion on the matter.

Christmas Shopping

Spending money is something I am very good at. I'm not sure how I do it so easily, but it's magical how I can quickly turn something into nothing. As a kid, mom or dad did most of the shopping for me. Of course I picked out that one really bad gift I thought was amazing. Christmas pin for mom and tie for dad. Their faces never showed their true feelings of disappointment. And of course, as a kid, let's be honest, we're selfish creatures. It was about what you had under the tree. You hoped that oversized package so carefully wrapped and tied was yours. And you hoped being extra good for the month of December was good enough to make up for all year long in Santa's eyes. It usually was.

As an adult, I really do love Christmas shopping. Yes the stores are crowded and lines are terrible. But it is worth it to find that perfect gift for someone and on Christmas morning watch them tear away the paper to reveal that great idea you had. So I can truly say I've matured to the point that it's more about what I give than what I get. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not completely unselfish. I know myself well. I will still wake up at an ungodly hour to peek at my stocking stuffed with goodies and impatiently wait for dad to get home from chores and wake up the household.

Of course there are classic Christmas traditions that will never change or leave my life. National Lampoon's Christmas vacation and cousin Eddie's antics, taboozing, ugly Christmas sweaters, and of course getting to spend time with some of my favourite people.

Then there are the things you are so glad you've grown out of (peeking for one...I'm so sorry mom, I was a snoopy little girl), and the things you get to grow into (Christmas morning shots with the family!)

So I guess when you reach the quarter life mark things are bound to change. Thank God we have alcohol to get us through this difficult time.

What a cute little hairball!

I have been waiting nearly a month to meet him, but it was so worth the wait! Love at first sight. Laura and Corey you make beautiful babies! Meet Chase: born November 19, 2010 10lbs 1 oz. Look at all that hair!

PS...tis the season for ugly Christmas sweaters!

Indecent Proposal

I was made an offer that I definitely could refuse.

Some time ago a "friend" (and I use that term loosely) added me to Facebook. I had not talked to this person for about 4 or 5 years and knew him through a friend of mine. He's always been slightly strange and pervy, but I thought...what's the harm.

He would message me a lot and compliment me (which basically consisted of making me feel uncomfortable). He became increasingly creepy.

One day he wanted to ask me a "weird question".

"Shoot" I said.

"Would you watch a relatively good looking guy masturbate for $1000? You don't have to do anything, you just have to watch."

I paused. All I could think was...I really hope this is hypothetical.

"I don't think so." I replied

"You don't have to do anything to yourself. All I want you to do is watch."

Now I'm starting to think this is not hypothetical. And I'm starting to get disgusted and angry.

"No. You're right that was a weird question. Please don't ask me that again."

"Just thought I'd check."

"Maybe you should try Chat Roulette. I heard people do that all the time on there."

And that was the end of that conversation. Or so I thought.

I should have deleted him after that comment. But I didn't. And about a week ago, he upped the offer.

"Are you sure you couldn't use an extra $3000?"

"No."

Remove from friends.

This was wrong on so many levels.

First of all. I barely know the guy.

Second, why would you pay someone for that? Can't you get that on your own?

Third, ewwwwww. And, asking me that is completely offensive. I know I'm a starving student and all, but come on.

I don't understand what a person gets out of that. It's just as bad as those men who go around in trenchcoats popping out from behind dumpsters and just go to town on themselves. Excuse me sir, but I'm just heading to get a coffee, and I don't remember asking for extra cream.

I told this story to my mom and all she could say was "I don't know dear, $1000 is a lot of money." I mean make it $5000 and then we'll talk. I could've had a very Merry Christmas indeed.

A Movember to Remember

This post is long overdue. This is a tribute to all those thick, thin, sparse, full, brown, blonde, red or black mustaches that some of miss...and some of us don't.
I saw some beautiful mustaches and some not so beautiful. But I have a new appreciation for facial hair, and frankly was a little obsessed this Movember.

Also, click here to find out which countries raised the most money. I'm feeling the love Canada...great job!

As the weather gets colder, I'm sure your upper lips are missing that nice little blanket of warmth. "Decembeard" anyone?

Fear and Loathing in my basement

Here I sit, on a Thursday afternoon, waiting in fear. About an hour ago I saw a HUGE spider in the corner. At first I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me...but no, there it was, walking around like it owned the place. Actually it was big enough to have it's own room. So I quickly darted to my room to grab something to bash it with. I found a boot....perfect! But of course, the spider was nowhere to be seen. I creeped over to the corner and moved the table around in hopes it would pop it's head out....but not jump up on me. Nothing. So I have been sitting on the couch staring across the room at this corner, boot by my side, waiting for about an hour. I'm suppose to be studying. So if I fail this exam Tuesday...it's obviously because the spider ruined my concentration.
Yes, I know it's silly to be scared of spiders...most would say. They're tiny, you're huge, what are they going to do to you. They're more scared of you than you are of them....blah blah blah. They're just gross okay. Chalk that one up to another irrational fear.
Speaking of irrantional fears...
The other day I ran out of gas. I know what you're thinking...how do you run out of gas? You must be an idiot. Blondes....(Mom don't give me that look....).
But, in my defence, my gas gauge is broken and I go by kilometers. I just happened to overestimate how far I could go. Now I know, lesson learned. But, to top it all off, my cell phone was dead, at home, and I did not have my wallet on me. Thankfully my friend had his cell phone and I called my roommate (aka Glen the hero) and she came to our rescue.
But before she came, we did sit there for a good 40 minutes or longer and noone pulled over to help. This did not surprise me. If I was driving on a highway and saw a car with it's 4-ways on, in no way am I pulling over to help. I know how to jump a battery and have cables, and I'm pretty sure I could change a tire...there's instructions right? But to me, there is a greater chance of some creep abducting me, than of me being of use to them. That's what cell phones and CAA are for (or AAA for my American friends).
However, I do recall a moment driving to school with 2 of my roommates and her muffler tried to make a getaway. So us 3, 20-something girls pulled over, got out of the car, looked at the sad, hanging muffler, and scratched our heads. Luckily, some nice man pulled over and told us to put it in the trunk...we'd be fine to drive for a bit. So thanks for the advice random man, but no, I would not do the same for you, even in broad daylight.

So if you're pulled over on the side of the road, I'm sorry but I'm not going to be one of those kind random strangers that comes to your aid. Or, if you have a spider problem I am not the one to call.

Note: As I was writing this, the spider reappeared and I, the stronger and smarter of the two, prevailed. I'm sorry to say, in the making of this blog, spiders were harmed.