Girl crushes are a healthy form of curiosity...it's science

A friend of mine recently gave me a HUGE compliment by comparing me to Chelsea Handler. Now, as my friends are basically my only readers and by default my biggest fans - this means a lot to me. Not only is this awesome because Ms. Handler is hilarious and successful, but she happens to be one of my celebrity girl crushes. (Yes I have more than one. I like to keep my options open). Now, of course I know, I in no way hold a candle to Chelsea Handler and her writing and/or comedic abilities, nor do I share her love of tiny people. But, I appreciate the boost to my ego nonetheless.

I first fell in love after seeing some episodes of Girls Behaving Badly. I always love watching and listening to a truly funny woman. So many of them get it wrong. My little crush grew after reading her book "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands". Her writing and humour is so raw, honest and at times, slightly disturbing. Right up my alley.

Not for the faint of heart or sexually modest.

I just recently purchased her latest "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" and can't wait to rip into it. I know I'm going to have awkward laugh out loud moments in public and can't wait to do so. I feel so lucky to be able to watch her nightly on her show Chelsea Lately and listen to her degrade and humiliate others. Thank you for that Ms. Handler.

My second celebrity crush is another successful auther and commedianne. Tina Fey. I have always loved her admittedly nerdy style and self-deprecating humour. She is truly a successful and smart business woman. Her stints on "Weekend Update" during Saturday Night Live were enough to prove she had what it takes.

We truly are blessed to be able to watch her weekly on 30 Rock. I often scare my parents, ahem, roommates, by my raucous laughter into thinking I'm dying or that the world is ending. No, no, just uncontrollably laughing.

During the summer I swiftly read through "Bossypants" and found it hard to contain myself from laughing out loud on the beach. I knew it would be a good read when in the book store I started giggling after one of the first few lines. Well done.

Every awkward adolescent should read this.

Not many people can send me into fits of uncontrollable laughter and Ms. Fey, you are one of the lucky ones.

I have a strong admiration for the comedic (although very different) styles of these women. They are extremely crush-worthy.

There's no crying in baseball...and other life lessons learned from Tom Hanks

A League of Their Own is by far, one of my favourite movies. It contains two of my great loves. Baseball and Tom Hanks. He is full of wisdom and delivers those memorable quotes like no other. Think back to Forest Gump. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get." You can't argue with that logic.

There have always been parallels between baseball and life. There are people that make their fame from sprouting those memorable quotes dedicated to the similarities. And who are we kidding, everyone in life is looking to hit a homerun. (Get your mind out of the gutter). I'm talking about pushing those limits to the point to reach your maximum potential. Now that I've made you feel like a pervert, get your mind back in that gutter and make the other connection.

As an avid baseball player for many years, I can understand and appreciate the line "there's no crying in baseball." I hate crying. Actually, let me rephrase that...I don't hate anything, that's such a strong word. I resent crying. Maybe it has to do with growing up with two brothers and any sign of "girly" weakness would be promptly matched with a punch to the arm.

I have never liked people to see me cry. I don't even like to admit that I do it. But, let's face it. Everyone at some point in their life, will cry. And if you say you haven't, you're a liar. You were a baby once right? Gotcha there. I don't like people to see me cry because it turns my face into a red, puffy, soggy, wrenched-up mess. My whole body sobs. It's not a pretty sight. This particular display of emotion for me is best saved for long car rides all alone or in the shower. My two favourite places to shed those alligator tears. (Shh don't tell anyone).

Even when other people cry, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know what to do. Common sense dictates to give them a hug. Which, I would be more than happy to do. Hugs I love. But, some people don't want to be hugged or let alone touched when they're crying. So you just sit there and stare at them, trying to console them, but ultimately saying all the wrong things.

There are appropriate times and places for one to let those tears fall. I'm not made of stone. Sad movies or books make me tear up. But, sports is a time when crying is out of place. It is the one place where you are praised for getting dirty and aggressive. Don't ruin that with tears.

So we can all agree. There's no crying in baseball. Or in the crowded restaurant because he won't call you back. Save it for the shower. Crybaby.

Rhetorical Question?

"What's a good-looking girl like you doing single?"

Every single girl's worst nightmare. Your singleness is clearly rubbed in your face (is it that obvious?) and you are given a compliment, usually by a creepy man sitting at the bar where I work. First of all, I'm not very good with compliments anyway. They make me uncomfortable when I'm not expecting them. And I feel the need to reciprocate them, but that's very hard when the man staring at me has poor hygiene and clearly hasn't showered. And I never know how to respond to this question. Thank you? Or go with the more obvious, How dare you assume I'm single!
But the truth is, this question is fully loaded. Any attempt you make to answer it seems less than profound.
"I don't know."
"I like being single."

And your forced to psycho-analyze yourself or your exes to, basically a stranger. Really though, the bare bones of the question asking, "You seem normal, but really, what's wrong with you?"

Is it so strange for a 20-something woman these days to be single? What's that you say? Yes it is. hmmm...

What I really want to say to this question is, mind your business. If I knew the answer to that question I probably wouldn't be single and we wouldn't be having this terrible conversation. But of course, I don't say that because I'm too polite. And we end up having an awkward conversation about what I'm looking for. Or, the creepy man that asked that question then decides to make his move and between sips of beer decides now is the opportune time to ask me for a date. Now I have to awkwardly turn this man down, make a joke and run to the back so I don't have to talk to him anymore. I need a new job.

Moral of the story: Single does not equal desperate. And beer does not work on the person that is not drinking.