Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Burning Question

I've seen the movie "When Harry Met Sally" probably a dozen times. It's up there on my list of favourite movies. But with this movie comes the question - Can men and women be friends?
I'm not sure the movie really answers the question. Or it answers it with a negative, proving that men and women cannot be friends. I mean in the end - spoiler alert! - Harry and Sally eventually consummate their relationship and this ruins their friendship. Although they realize that they are in fact perfect for each other.

I really don't think this movie sets out to try and answer the age-old question because it really is just a love story. I like to think that yes, men and women can definitely be friends.

The fact is, I have many different friends, both male and female. I truly believe there are many benefits to having both sexes as friends.

Girls are great at listening and being there when you need it. They will be a shoulder to cry on. They are the first ones to offer a hug or a much needed glass of wine.

Guys are great problem solvers. They will fix what's broken. They are all about action.
They are the first ones to offer to beat up anyone that threatens your happiness.

Of course, you can only maintain this friendship if it is truly platonic. This is where it can get complicated. If one friend secretly wants more from the friendship then things can get messy. Or if you have a past together it's not a truly platonic friendship because there was obvious attraction to one another. I'm not denying you can't have a friendship with an ex or past lover but let's be real - it's not the same.

There have been numerous times when people have questioned my friendships and went as far to declare that I should just date them anyway. These people simply don't understand that it would be like dating my brother. I mean I love those boy friends of mine but they already know too much about me. I can't have the chance of a horrific break up occurring and all that secure information be threatened. I'm also pretty sure that this voids their interest in me. I may not exactly be 'one of the guys', because let's face it, I'm a girl. But they've seen me at my worst so I'm sure they don't see me as much of a girl either.

If however, there are men or women out there that befriend the opposite sex in hopes that someday you will date. Stop it. At this point you've probablye entered the friend zone. If you really think being someone's friend for years is gonna get you a girlfriend/boyfriend....there are much faster ways. Try online dating, post an ad on kijiji, go to a bar. Don't hit on your friends.

I went on a dinner date recently and was asked about my male friends. I assured him that there is no romantic level to my male friendships. We are simply friends and have been for over 20 years. I have many relationships like this. He couldn't fathom the idea that any man would just want to be my friend. I'm not sure if this was suppose to be some sort of compliment toward my personality or an insult to my friendship.

Sadly, I told dinner date man I liked him as a person but not romantically, but we could still be friends?! I won't be expecting a friendship Facebook request from him anytime soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment