Texting Etiquette

I'm not sure if Alexander Graham Bell had text messages in mind when he invented the telephone. But it makes things so much easier and helps us all escape the dreaded phone call. Text messages make it easier for people to keep in touch and keep up to date with social situations. However, with anything there are definitely pet peeves that I have or rules that should be followed when sending messages.

Do's:

• Flirt via text. You just got that cute guy's/girl's phone number. You now have an opportunity to win him/her over with witty conversation while sober. It's also a great way to stay in that person's mind and keep them interested. Much better than coming across as creepy/needy/psycho with multiple calls the next day. Beware of sarcasm though. Unless the person knows you well enough to get your sarcastic sense of humour you may come across as an ass. (There really should be a special sarcasm font.)
• Send quick confirmations. Telling a person you're on your way or will be there in a couple minutes is a great way to make use of the text. Calling people twice within 10 minutes with little pieces of information like this is not only annoying, it's unnecessary. 
• Keep it short and sweet. Telling me a life story about how you and some buddies played a hilarious joke on your friend doing this and that is really more of an in person anecdote. Or going on and on about the prices of meat. Sometimes phone calls really are better. (Or just keep certain information to yourself).
• Reply back. There is nothing worse than when your friends don't reply back to something you've said. The chances are you received it. Even if it's hours later, I appreciate a text back - even if it's to say sorry, I couldn't text I was driving/at the gym/making out. No one likes to be ignored. (If you are however trying to ignore that person because you don't wanna talk to them - continue to ignore them. Or send a note saying "Sorry, I didn't text. I was ignoring you.").

Don'ts:

• Text on a date. The same rule applies for phone calls. You just don't do it. Everyone knows the phone call is for emergencies only (or when a date is going poorly and you need an exit strategy). Give the person your full attention for a couple hours. You can live without your phone for that long. If you really need to talk to an outside person, excuse yourself to the bathroom to text. Keep it classy.
• Use short forms or slang. This is one of my personal pet peeves. Shortening words that otherwise are short tells me you're either a douche or you don't wanna take the time to put in that extra letter. You will come across as uneducated and lazy. These are just some examples:
• C (see)
• U (you)
• N E (any)
• K (ok)
• Y (why)
• B (be)
• L8R (later)
• 2nite (tonight)

•  Using text words in real life. This is more of a personal pet peeve of mine. Having a conversation with  a person that is all like: "O.M.G. Can you believe she did that? I was like W.T.F!" I'm not sure if you're trying to keep your word count for the day but saying oh my god (or gosh) or what the fuck (or fudge) is totally appropriate.
• Text in public, all night. So...you went out to a restaurant, bar or bowling alley. Instead of enjoying the company of your present friends you decided to have a text marathon with people who aren't there. There's nothing worse than seeing a bunch of people sitting in silence in a very loud place.
• Send text after text after text. I get it. You want to talk to me. I don't need 7 lines of information that could have been made into one cohesive sentence. 

So, those are just a few of my personal rules. I'm sure I've broken some of them before. But I really do try to be a polite text messager. I think we are all thankful for opposable thumbs.